Think about your current masturbation routine. There's a good chance you've got it down to an exact science—and that you haven't deviated in a while. Here's the thing: "Most of us masturbate more-or-less the exact same way we did the first time ever masturbated," says Sarah Sloane, who's been coaching sex toy classes at Good Vibrations and Pleasure Chest since I know, I know, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
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Female Masturbation: Tips, Techniques, and Toys
Masturbation can sometimes feel daunting. I also get frustrated by how easily I can get thrown off course, or about how particular I am with my environment. Ultimately, though, I feel happy to have one reliable way to get myself off. I know from my experience as an educator that there are many, many others who have yet to find a way they like to do it. When we take the time to explore on our own, though, both our solo and partnered sex lives benefit. Exhibit A: I need intense pressure or vibration to get off, but my sexual partners for the first five years of my sex life only executed light, fluttery rubs and tickles or suction-y cunnilingus — which I hated. But remember: We're all different.
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The first time I ever masturbated, I got really lucky. Not everyone is a right-before-bed person: you might be an am-on-the-weekends person. Get yourself all set up in whatever way you need. Is it too hot or cold? Too quiet?
Porn isn't exactly famed for its realism. Women masturbate with legs splayed and backs arched, orgasming after a few minutes of frantic rubbing and moaning. But in reality, those positions aren't necessarily the most conducive to pleasure for women. What might seem hot in a male fantasy — which informs much of the porn we watch — isn't always close to what actually gets women off. I must admit, it hadn't occurred to me that the way I masturbate might have been influenced by the porn I was privy to growing up.