Ever feel anxious around the prospect of having sex, even with someone you love or just fancy a lot and whose clothes you want to rip off? You could find that general anxiety stops you from getting in the moment. Whatever the root cause, anxiety has the ability to absolutely wreck your sex life. This surge of adrenaline and cortisol make us feel more alert, tense and makes our hearts beat faster, quickly sending blood out of our extremities and pelvic area to preserve our vital organs. In addition, as the body tense up, we get a tight pelvic floor, which can cause vaginismus in women — where the vaginal muscles constrict and spam making difficult for penetration to take place — and premature ejaculation in men.
Performance Anxiety Doesn’t Mean the End of Your Sex Life… Here’s Why
Sex Avoidance and Anxiety Disorders - The Center for Treatment of Anxiety and Mood Disorders
This performance mindset leads many men to be self-conscious, self-critical, worried, tense and anxious while being sexual. This in turns often results in bringing about the very problem they were worrying about in the first place: erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation or difficultly experiencing orgasm. These sexual problems can be caused by various medical conditions, or may even result from—or be made worse by—various medications you may taking. If you experience these problems frequently while being sexual with someone else, but seldom experience them while being sexual by yourself, then it is unlikely that a medical problem or medication is the principle cause. But if you are unsure, consult with your physician first for an assessment. In addition, there are medications available that can help with these sexual problems, although sometimes with side effects.
Please refresh the page and retry. The best thing to do is go and see a pharmacist or GP, and the good news is there will be zero embarrassment involved. Struggling to get — or keep — an erection? This allows you to enjoy the sensations and you might find you become naturally aroused. But if your normal has shifted, potential causes include anxiety, depression, relationship problems, hormonal changes such as during menopause , and side effects of medication.
After her first sexual partner belittled her in the bedroom, Steph Auteri began second-guessing herself when it came to sex. Then, I would feel resentful for the fact that I had to feel guilty and would want sex even less. It was a vicious circle.